Do you feel unhappy because of your fitness?

Let's just assume that this isn't a post. It's a conversation, which you're viewing.

I am not a author. You're not a writer. This is real world.

This is the conversation which hurts the core most than any other conversation I have with anyone in fitness. Why? Because it is an expression of what so many people think but not say.

This transcript was pulled directly from a person, but it could have also come from me, or you, or from anyone.

These are the emails which hurt the most because they reveal an unmistakable truth in body transformation. It's much more than biceps. But it's still relevant.

The Internal Struggle of Fitness

It is difficult to put it in words, but what can I do to be more content with where I am at the moment?

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I think what I really want to know is how to accept my body as it is and how to change my self talk toward positive rather than negative. Somebody along the lines: "How can you fake it until you make it?"

I have started to pay more attention to the process and working out everyday. It really does help. However, there is still that voice in my back that worries about my body weight goal. I feel like I don't love myself when I realize I haven't reached my goal despite my hard work. Dare i say, I might even be able to love myself a little more. While I know this is wrong, these thoughts still haunt me. It hasn’t resulted in any behaviors that bother me, but it doesn’t make me feel this way. You have any thoughts?

Create a Healthier Health Mindset

Are you feeling frustrated? It's normal. Unfortunately, it's all too common. You don't have to feel embarrassed or ashamed about it. Your awareness and acceptance of the problem means that it is time to take action. If it's affecting you or your happiness, it may be worth speaking with someone. Mental illness is as serious as any physical condition.

This is the place to begin your search for "self love". While it is difficult for a man admitting that, it is important that we feel happy about who and what we do.

It's important that you don't let your physical appearance define your happiness. It is one of the hardest things about fitness. Because the more you put in to something the greater the impact. This can make your self-worth and confidence in yourself a lot more dependent on what you see. (Most people are more critical than the outside view of their own appearance.

Between lean models with shirts off and body dysmorphia, the mental purgatory is where most people find their feelings about fitness and appearance.

It doesn’t have to be that way. It is not. Fitness should help you feel better, have more energy, and make your life easier. None of that means that models or selfie-taking in a shirtless pose are responsible for the problems you have.

Could they be? Perhaps. It is possible.

Not focusing your attention on others will cause you to lose sight of the things you can control. Instead, put your focus on what you can do to make a difference.

Your life is a mixture of many things. You can choose the components that make up "you". It is a complex process, and it doesn't end.

But "you" must always be a collection. It shouldn't depend on any one factor. It's a beautiful mix of interests, people and hobbies.

The Fitness Portfolio

View your life like a great stock portfolio.

Ideally, you do not want income from just one source. Because even with our best intentions it is possible for something to go wrong and that source could disappear.

If you have other avenues and sources, you won't be left feeling stranded.

Your life will be the same. Your body fat may not always be the best place for you.

Perhaps you are "bulking", focusing on more muscles, or maybe you have to travel, get sick, and have other priorities that make it difficult to work out. Or you simply get older, and it becomes more difficult for you stay lean.

You might find that your progress is measured in other ways. The things you can do, how you live your life, and how confident you can radiate. While I am certain that everyone can change and grow, how it happens and how it looks for each person is up to them.

A concrete expectation of what success will look like is a good way to get nowhere.

Fitness is a journey. It should be fun and easy. While it's not easy, you learn about your body, understand nutrition, make healthy choices, and see amazing changes in your body.