Is fitness a way to make you unhappy?

Let's pretend for a moment that this is not a blog post. This is a conversation you are watching.

I am not a writer. You are not a reader. This is real life.

This is the conversation that really hurts my core more than any other conversation in fitness. Why? It's because it is a reflection on what many people think, but don't say.

This transcript was taken directly from a client. However, it could also have come from me or from you.

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These emails are the most painful, because they expose an undisputed truth in the worlds of body transformation. This is more than abs or biceps, but it is all relevant.

The Inner Struggle of Fitness

It's hard to express, but I feel more content with my current situation.

What I really want is to learn how to accept my body and change my self-talk towards positive thoughts instead of negative. It could be something along the lines of "How can I fake it till I make it?"

Although I've started to focus on the process and have been outworking myself more, it has really helped. However, I still hear that voice in my head telling me that I need to lose weight. When I realize that I am not reaching my goal despite all my efforts, I find it hard to like myself. Dare I even say that maybe I love myself a little less. It's not right, but I have the thoughts. Although it hasn't caused me to display any worrying behaviors, I don't want this to happen. What are your thoughts?

How to create a healthier mindset for your health

What is your frustration? It's common and all too normal. It's okay to not feel embarrassed or ashamed. It's important to be aware of it and accept it. It might be worth talking to someone if you notice it affecting your mood or general happiness. As with any other condition, the mind requires just as much attention as any other.

You'll start with the question about self-love. Although it's difficult for men to admit this, we all need to feel good about ourselves and what we do.

It is important to separate your physical appearance and your happiness. It's often one of the most difficult things in fitness. The more you put into something, the more it means. If your self-worth is dependent on what you see in the mirror or what you don’t see, this can be dangerous. (Most people are more critical about their appearance than others.

Between the sexy images of thin models and the body dysmorphia of the majority of people is the mental purgatory that governs their perception of fitness and appearance. It can be negative, but better than what they think, hurtful but not detrimental to daily life, frustrating and even overwhelming.

It doesn't have be that way. It's far from that. Fitness should improve your mood, energy, and overall quality of life. All of this is not to say that model selfies or t-shirtless selfies will cause your problems.

Could they be? It's possible. This is a part of society. For people who do it right (hard work and consistent diet), this is a good thing.

Focusing on other people will only cause you to focus on the things that are beyond your control. Instead, focus on what you can control.

Your life is a combination of many factors. It is up to you to choose which components make up your "you". This can be a difficult process that doesn't end.

However, "you" should be a collection. It shouldn't depend solely on one factor, or even two. It is a beautiful collection of people, interests, hobbies, charity and community that offers purpose and value.

The Fitness Portfolio

View your life like a great stock portfolio.

In the ideal world, income should not come from just one source. Even with the best intentions, sometimes bad things happen and your source of income could run dry.

If you have other sources or avenues, you are never left in the dark.

It's the same for your life. Your body fat is not something you want.

Perhaps you are "bulking" and focusing more on muscle. Or maybe you travel, get sick, or have other priorities that put off working out. Or, eventually, it gets harder to keep lean.

Maybe, just maybe, you will see your progress in another way. You can be as active as you like, live a full life and exude confidence. Although I believe that any body can transform and change, the process and results are different for every person.

Setting a clear expectation about what success looks like physically can lead to a roadblock.

Fitness is a journey. Fun and enjoyment should be the key to your fitness journey. While you may be able to do hard exercises, gain knowledge about your body and understand nutrition, you can still make great improvements in your body's health.