Are you happy because of fitness?

Let's say this isn’t a blog. It's a conversation you're listening to.

I'm not an author. You're not an author. This is real-life.

This conversation is probably the most painful conversation I have had in fitness. Why? Because it's a reflection what so many think but don't believe.

This transcript was obtained directly from a customer, but it could have been mine, from you or anyone else.

These are the emails that most hurt, simply because they point out an incontestable truth about body transformation. It's more important than biceps and abs, but all of it is relevant.

The Internal Struggle of Fitness

Although I don't know what to say, how can I be happier with where I am right now?

What do you want me to know? How can I accept my body the way it is now and how can I change my negative self talk towards being more positive than negative? You might say, "How do you fake it until it's mine?"

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While I have already begun to put more emphasis on the process and work out every day, it is really helping. But I also hear the voice inside my head that worries about my body fat goal. Even though I work hard, I still don't reach my goal. This makes me feel less like myself. Dare I suggest, maybe I can even love myself less. Although I know it is wrong, the thoughts remain in my head. While it has not led to any behavior that worries me, I don’t want to feel like this. Are you open to suggestions?

A healthier mindset for better health

How do you feel about the frustration? It's normal and it's unfortunately very common. There's no need to feel ashamed or embarrassed about it. Acceptance and awareness are the first steps to taking action. You might consider talking to someone about how it is affecting your happiness or behavior. The mind is just as susceptible to physical ailments as other parts of the body.

The first place you should look is with your question about "self-love". While it can be difficult for men to accept this truth, we all need self-love.

It's crucial to keep your happiness separate from your physical appearance. This is often the hardest thing to do in fitness. It means that the harder you work, the more important it becomes. It can lead to a loss of self-worth if you are dependent on the things you see in your mirror. (Most people are more concerned with their own appearances than they are about the outside world.

Between body dysmorphia and lean models in shirts, lies the mental purgatory of most people’s perception of fitness.

It doesn't need to be like this. It is far from this. Fitness should bring you joy, increase energy, and improve your life. This is not to suggest that models and sleeveless selfies are the cause of your issues.

Could they? They might. However, this is normal and part of society. Good for those who do it the right-way (hardwork + consistent diet) for their looks.

However, focusing on other people can lead to a focus on what you cannot control. Instead, be focused on the things you can change.

Your life is made up of many elements. You decide which parts make up "you". It's a complex process and one that never ends.

But, "you", should always be a collection. It shouldn't be dependent on just one factor. It is a wonderful mix of people, work, hobbies and charity.

The Fitness Portfolio

View your life like a great stock portfolio.

You don't want your income to come from only one source. Because, even with our best intentions and the possibility of losing your income source, it can happen.

You don't have to be stuck if there are other options or sources.

Your life should be the same. You don't need to be tied to your body fat, because it might not be there at times.

You might be "bulking" by focusing on more muscle. But, what if you get sick? Travel, have more important priorities, or get older? It becomes more difficult to stay lean.

Perhaps, just perhaps, your progress can be measured in different ways. Your activities, your life, and the confidence that you exude will determine how successful you are. Every body has the potential to change and transform. However, everyone is unique in how and what that looks like.

It can be difficult to set a realistic expectation of success.

Fitness is a journey. It should be enjoyable and fun. It's a challenging process that allows you to learn about your body, understand nutrition, and have freedom with what you eat. You will still see great results.